Oh, To Be Free

True humility.

Not low self-esteem or high self-esteem. But not esteeming yourself.. To not even think of yourself.

Humility is often mislabeled... When we deflect compliments.  When we are over-apologetic.  When we bend over backwards to please others or appease their anger.  When we over-shower a friend with affirmation, gifts, or attention.  Often times, these actions which hide under the guise of selflessness are, in reality, just a result of our insecurity or our lack of faith; they are methods to protect our reputation or "win" a friend.

True humility, however... that is rare.  Freeing.  And required, as a believer.

Deep down, I think we fear true humility... When we really stop to think about what it may look like. What it may cost.  The selfishness it demands we lay down; and the pleasure it may rob us of.

But even deeper down... one story lower in the basement of our hearts... I think we all really long for true humility to overtake us.  I mean, sometimes don't you wish you could just shed all thoughts of yourself?

I do.  I wonder what it would be like to leave church service, and not wonder if my comments came across wrong or if I offended someone by not saying hi.  I long to not sit down for coffee with a friend, being consumed with anxiety or self-pity over the petty frustration of my morning.  I grow weary of over-analyzing my sinful tendencies and depressed moods.  I am sick of regretting my past and agonizing over my plans for tomorrow.

Our culture loves to retort, "I don't care what you think."  And though it would be nice to have that as a blanket response to everyone and everything we encountered, that isn't the answer. True humility cares.

It just cares about different things than this world cares about.  While I am busy caring about how overwhelming my day has been, whether or not my outfit is appropriate for the occasion, or what impression I'm making on others; the humble person cares about the burdens their friend is bearing.  They care about their husband's needs, their children's emotions, and they care about how the checker at the grocery store's day is going.  Most importantly, they care about being in the presence of their Maker.

But don't be mistaken: humility may be commanded of us as believers, but it is not a burdensome virtue we are obligated to acquire.  True humility is a gift.  The priceless gift of freedom... from ourselves.