Lust, Lies & Ashley Madison

I can still remember setting the table for my family when I was probably 10 or 11 years old.  I don’t think I could ever successfully collect six matching cups or forks. Plates, if I was lucky.

I silently vowed one evening that someday when I was a wife and mother, my kitchen would be filled with beautiful, matching dishware and cutlery.

Now, my childhood was the most enviable sort.  Scarcely did I imagine my own kids being raised much differently.  And yet, we all have those mental notes we carry on to adulthood, those solemn promises that “I will never _____” (Fill in the blank).

My vow to “raise the standard” from my mom’s disorderly kitchen is now laughable, years later, as I scan my own cupboards for just two matching glasses.  Having only been married 3 ½ years, somehow our kitchen has become an assemblage of missing and mismatched tableware.

And that is not the only promise I have broken to myself.  I also swore I would never allow my children to wear cartoon clothing, like Hello Kitty or Dora.  Tacky, I observed.  Well, I can now file that in the “Just Wait Til’ You Have Kids” folder alongside my confident statement that I would never hand my child the smartphone to watch Sesame Street so I could have adult conversations.  The list could go on…

What I’m realizing, however, is that upon making those self-assured statements- if only in my head- I deemed these women to have low standards in whatever area I was scrutinizing.  But maybe, just maybe, some of the women who have let go of the superficialities of life are not so much lowering their standard as they are raising it. (Okay, well letting your kids zone out on cartoons all the time may not be a sign of maturity, but it sure is nice when you’re trying to have a doctor’s appointment and you couldn’t get a sitter.)

With only a couple years under my belt as a mom, and not much more as a wife, I have had to let go of a lot of the external particulars - but I hope that in their place I have grabbed hold of a lot more eternal objectives. 

Setting a high standard is not a bad thing.  The Bible calls us to “Be perfect”.  I would say the bar doesn’t get much higher. 

It is not that we want too much out of life- I would argue that too often we want too little.  Our prayers offer the reflection of longings so shallow, so temporary- and God would say, “You do not have, because you do not ask.  You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.” (James 4:2-3) 

I now long for the wisdom I see in sanctified women who have gone before me… Women who have sifted out the unimportant legalities and showiness of the world that they had originally clung to, and  instead sought a weighty and glorious mission that moth and rust cannot destroy.  I also now smile upon my clashing cupboards and uncoordinated furniture.  I throw my daughter a Peppa Pig birthday party, and gift her a plastic Peppa dollhouse- even though it may be a bit tacky.  Many days I let her dress herself, though this may consists of pink rubber boots and a red tutu.

 I do not smile because I believe these things make me a holier or more mature or wiser woman.  Honestly, I wish my house matched! I think the women in my life who are able to make their homes displays of art and beauty are inspirational.  Moms who somehow manage to get their kids out the door in Instragram-snappable outfits every day BAFFLE me in their discipline. 

No, I don’t smile because one is better than the other.  I smile because I am so thankful that matching dishes won’t make me smile in 10,000 years.  I smile because God offers me daily grace and reminders to ask for MORE than a good education or popularity for my children; He gives me a greater gift than a brand new home or a size 0 body.  God offers me grace.  And truth.  And a glory that will not fade!  That is why I smile.