Three Decades New

This month, I turned 30.

One of those milestones where you're supposed to feel pretty old.  Surprisingly, though, it hasn't hit me hard. In fact, I look forward to this decade and I do NOT long to relive my twenties..

There is an "oldness", however, I do grapple with.  But it has less to do with wrinkles, and more to do with my old and exhausting ways.  My sins and struggles that, at 30 years old, I now realize are not going to magically disappear one day.

When I was 16, and even 26, I would hit the same discouraging realizations of who I am and who I'm not... And I would become disappointed.  Self-loathing, even.  But there was a sense, then, that I could change myself.  That I could create a "new" me, with new habits and new diets and new routines.  I had hope in the future.

But after decades of trying to change myself, I'm thoroughly aware that I'm incapable of producing lasting change.  My self-control falters, my sins keep popping their ugly heads up, and the mindsets I once thought I'd leave behind are still a daily battle.

There is a beauty to this realization.  After all, those moments of self-discovery that I'd tried to use to revitalize myself, were rooted in idolatry, plain and simple.  I thought I could control myself. My life. My health. My marriage. My parenting, etc..

Now I see quite clearly that Christ and Christ alone can satisfy.  Christ and Christ alone can change me.  I need his "new"...

The new that has been established:

If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. [1]

I need the new that deals with today:

Put off your old self... put on the new self, created after the likeness of God. [2]

And I need the new that is to come.

"Behold, I am making all things new."  [3]

On one hand, there is "nothing new under sun". [4]  On the other hand, I can sing a new song.  [5]

Because the cross makes the "old commandment" a new commandment, in Christ. [6]  The cross defines who I am and then renews who I am.  [7]  The cross has given me a new name, and one day my new name will be fully revealed. [8]



[1] 2 Corinthians 5:17
[2] Ephesians 4:24
[3] Revelation 21:5
[4] Ecclesiastes 1:9
[5] Psalm 144:9
[6] 1 John 2:7-8
[7] 1 Corinthians 5:7
[8] Isaiah 62:2, Revelation 2:17