beautiful:: part five.

The heart behind the body behind the beauty…

I believe these questions apply to every woman, because every woman possesses beauty.  I don’t care if you’ve never been asked to a dance or if you look more like Jay Leno than Heidi Klum.  God stated that we are fearfully and wonderfully made in His beautiful image.  You have been given beauty. Now ask yourself these questions- as I have been- to figure out how you’re using it:

·      Is my beauty existent to get something or to give something?  Am I looking for happiness, approval, and affirmation? Or offering my best to the Lord? If I’m trying to gain something by chasing beauty, I will find myself on the tiresome treadmill of our culture.  Why do you think Hollywood has such high divorce and substance abuse and suicide rates?  Trying to find value in our appearance ends in emptiness. Rather than searching for worth by these means, we should be reacting from the truths we are aware of: our identity in Christ. 

·      Does my beauty bring attention to the Lord or distract others from Him?  Is my immodesty or obsession with the material tarnishing Jesus’ name for those around me?  Would my outfit make my girlfriend uncomfortable around her husband? I’ll never forget Tim Keller’s description of one woman: “She was the kind of woman who made husbands want to love their wives more.”  I strive to be like her.

·      Who am I “getting beautiful” for? Another indicator of where my motives lie is to start noticing whom I am dressing up for.  Now, obviously there are different occasions where casual or formal wear is appropriate.  But I’m talking about just a general sense of caring- putting forth effort to look nice.  Though God designed you to attract your spouse- and we should be taking care of ourselves for them- the Bible is clear that favoring the rich and popular is not God’s heart. If I find myself spending twice the time and mascara on days I’m going to see friends, but I’m in sweats the day when I am “just staying home” with my daughter, maybe I’m not valuing the “least of the these” like Jesus so does.  This doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with cozying up in sweats now and then.  Nor should we put pressure on ourselves to spend two hours in front of the mirror each day. Just pray for personal conviction for what this looks like for you.

·      What is the fruit/result of my beauty? Is it producing insecurity, pride, or materialism? Or am I amplifying the love of Christ with contentment and unshakable joy?  To piggy-back off this question…

·      Am I trying to be someone else or am I trying to better who He has already made me to be?  Our culture makes it easy to justify covetousness and pride with Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, and Twitter.  And, again, hear me out, I am not saying these entities are evil in and of themselves.  But honestly ask yourself- is Pinterest making you feel depressed over what you don’t have, physically or materially?  Is Instagram creating constant comparisons in your heart with others?  When you scan through People magazine, does it leave you with a feeling of inadequacy and a list of “I want’s”?  You know what triggers jealousy and worldliness in your own heart- each woman will have her own answers.  I realize it’s not clear-cut.  I mean, searching Google for new hairstyles is imitating someone else, in a sense.  Grabbing the latest style magazine is technically gathering inspiration from others.  But I don’t think its wrong to draw inspiration from those around us; God created art and expression to be contagious and moving. I just challenge you to search your heart for what stirs you to a pure and content beauty, not a covetous imitation of who you were created to be.

·      Do I despise the beauty of others or admire and rejoice in it?  This is a big one for me.  I have this awful habit of finding the most beautiful women in the room and comparing myself with them.  I subconsciously hunt for faults in their figure, always seeming to find even more in my own.  The day I can look upon a gorgeous woman and admire God’s creation without being filled with want, is the day I am overflowing with the affirmation that comes from walking closely with my God. 

I purposely left out most of the conclusions and convictions I have come to, when it comes to specifics, because I don’t want to merely invoke moralism and legalism.  One woman can easily have a Instagram account without it making her self-centered and materialistic, while for another it could be crippling.  I know that there a probably dozens more questions that can help you find your loveliness in Christ, but I would use that fact to challenge you to create your own questions.  Or perhaps, rather than “creating your own”, you can press into the Lord through prayer and the Word and hear the voice of God.  Don’t fear what He asks of you- our Father always gives abundantly more than He asks of us. He desires to speak directly to you, revealing the beauty He sees in you and inspiring even greater beauty.

"We do not want merely to see beauty, though, God knows, even that is bounty enough. We want something else which can hardly be put into words—to be united with the beauty we see, to pass into it, to receive it into ourselves, to bathe in it, to become part of it." - C.S. Lewis