Running on E

I'm finding that breaks come few and far between, now that I have two kiddies. The things I use to view as chores and obligations, I now eagerly complete, if only for a moment alone.

We just got a gym membership, and I have to say I've never found exercise to be so stress-relieving- if simply for the fact that I get one hour without spit-up and spankings.  Any chance I have to clean the kitchen or fold a load of laundry without being interrupted- so relaxing! Taking a shower while Sam watches the babies is now a rare but thoroughly appreciated privilege.

I hope I don't sound like one those frazzled, frustrated mothers who can't stand being with her family.  That isn't the case AT ALL. I adore my husband and two children, and am constantly amazed at the life I have.  I don't deserve an ounce of it.  I am living out my dream job.  But the reality is, there is no "clocking out" for this job.

This causes me to ask, concerning these two- or twenty-minute moments alone, how do I make the most of them?

My natural inclination was and is to feel entitled to "me-time" and try to make the most of these opportunities by serving myself for a change. Painting my nails, snacking, surfing the internet... These are not evil habits, though they may be first-world privilege. After all, we all need to be fueled and filled, recharged and refreshed- right?

However, I quickly realized that taking advantage of these times to be selfish, really wasn't working out to my advantage at all. I came back into "the ring" more discouraged and weary than when I left.

Truth is, it is not what I spent my time doing that drained and depressed me, but the attitude that pervaded my heart while I did them.. I was looking to be filled... but I have found a better word to encompass what I truly need in these moments: to be emptied!  What a wonderful "secret" to finding refreshment, I have found this to be.

Selfishness still prevails, all too often,  But when I spend my escapade to the grocery store surrendering my desires to the Lord, I return home joyful.  When I take time in my walk to remember what Christ has done for me and why I am here, I am enlivened and impassioned.  When I cry, "Empty me, Lord!" I find a new song in my heart- one that strengthens me to love and live for my Lord.

"Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of man."
-Philippians 5-7